Glamis July 5, 2000 - July 19, 2013

We have been through so much in such a short period of time.   It has only been 35 days since we first discovered a problem.  I know compared to some, that is alot of time.  It is so true that every illness is specific to the situation and there is no set answer.  We never had a chance to fight.  It was about managment and quality of life.  We did the best we could with what we were up against.

While no one can tell you what the right answer is, I have appreciated imput from others.  Sometimes, it opens my eyes to other options.  A dear friend who lost her sweet Bao just days ago commented...At some point you decide it's not worth the risk to have a really, really, really, really bad day.  I felt bad that Bao walked into the vet office on his own, like somehow it would have been better to have him NOT be able to walk???  Duh, that didn't make sense either.  Then that would have been too late, for him and for me.  We both know, it isn't easy, no matter what anyone says, or any advice given....    At that point, I had considered the walking in part of the statement but I had not yet reached the carried in part.  It is so hard to make a decision when you feel there may be more time, more chances.

While there could have been worse times to do this, today is not a great choice.  It is Friday.  I have two weddings today, two weddings tomorrow and one on Sunday.  My grief has to be put on hold.   I am sad that I am so distracted by life.   It is one of those days when I want to quit my job because I don't have the option to call in sick.  I am sad that I will not get to go on the last car trip.  Tim will take Glamis to Noah's Pet cemetary in Grand Rapids to be cremated.  There are not enough hours in the day.

At 4:53 a cold nose wakes me up.  Oregon and Summer need to go out.  Glamis is alert but doesn't make any effort to go.  Back inside, I lay on the floor next to Glamis and scratch his ears.  Oregon is doing the jealous dog routine and worming his way in.  As annoying as this is, Oregon is an excellent cuddle bug.

 Before I feed the crew at 5:45, I take Glamis out.  He wobbles and staggers a bit but doesn't need my help until it is time to go in.  I am not sure if he is seeing pink elephants or the moths and bugs flying around have his attention.  I have to softly clap my hands to get his focus.  Words won't do it.  For some reason, the sound of clapping hands can bring him into focus enough to get him to follow me.  Glamis gets a pork chop and canned pumpkin with some of his kibble.  Based on the snorting in his bowl, he likes it.

It is time to get on the train to the Rainbow Bridge.  Arri, Bao and many other wonderful dogs are expecting him.  Dr. Mike comes to the house at 7:30 in the morning.  Summer and Oregon say hello and are tethered to the bannister.  Glamis stands up to greet him but is having a hard time finding him.  He has been seeing pink elephants for about 1/2 hour.  We gather in a group and Glamis is given a sedative.  Tim is getting through this by talking non-stop.  I am cradling Glamis' head in my hands.  The final injection is given.  A few last breaths and Glamis is gone.  Quiet, peaceful and loved.

We will miss this gentle giant.

Glamis
Skilled Companion to Jillayne 2002 - 2011
July 5, 2000 - July 19, 2013

July 18, 2013 The Stalker

Just two days ago, Glamis was weak, listless and in pain.  Who knows where that dog went because today he is moving all over the place.  He won't lay still.  I have been down in the bakery working and every hour or so I come upstairs to check.  He is aware of me every time and then gets up to follow where ever I go.  It would be nice if I could bring him down to the bakery but I don't think a tumble down the stairs is a good idea.  Once again, there is something going on with him but I can't narrow it down.  He is fidgety but needy.  If one of us is not in the room with him, or if he doesn't realize we are there, he will start to whine.

It is another hot day.  I have a lot of work to do so Tim is on duty today. He took Glamis outside and Glamis had a dip in the pool.  Glamis was so comfortable, he wanted to put his head down and nap.  Tim didn't think to get a pool noodle and put it under his chin so that he could do just that.  Oh well.

They went to the park.  There is no point to trying to go without Glamis.  He pitches a fit if left behind.  This afternoon, he even tried to jump into the car.  If it were the van, it would not be a big deal.  Tim's new car is a Saturn Vue.  It is very high to get into.  We should have had the dogs jump into it before buying it.

After dinner, Glamis seems very sedate.  A little dopey.  He had his medicine and that initially relaxes him.  Everyone goes outside and when Glamis pees, Tim is extremely interested, looking at the ground when he walked away.  I just can't help it and ask the question.....Tim thinks Glamis has blood in his urine.  He says he thought it earlier in the day and was just checking (against the dirt and grass).  I try really hard not to roll my eyes and fail.  I also try not to get on the soapbox about communicating these things.  I bit my tongue and suggested getting a sample in a cup.  There is still time to run it down to the vet.  I walk over to the spot and agree that the pee looks wrong.

This starts a discussion about what to do.  If it is a UTI, it is fixable but what if we can't tell.  It could be cancer in the kidneys or bladder.  We talk more and think more.  I can't do it.  It is time.  Even if it were a UTI, it is just one more thing and right around the corner is another and another.  It just isn't going to get better.  Glamis doesn't need to go through anything else.   I call Dr. Mike and ask if he can stop by the house tomorrow.

Another trip to the park.  Tim gets a sample this time.  Thank you.  When I see it, I know we have made the right decision.  I won't feel like I should have given him one more chance.  The urine looks like coffee.  It is no wonder the boy has been whining today.  It may have had nothing to do with needing us near him.  Even with the pain meds he is on for his back, he has to be hurting.

Time for some serious spoiling.  Frosty paws for all.  I have more work to do but when I am done, we are going to hang out for the night.

July 17; seeing pink elephants

Just when I thought we might have a quiet day of healing, I get thrown a curve ball.

I was done baking for the morning and now the 30+ cakes needed to cool before I could do more.  Glamis has been on the move - going from one room to another.  I find him this time in the bedroom.  I take Oregon outside.  As we were coming in, I see Summer and Glamis laying at the door waiting their turn.  Ok.  Out we go again.  Now that I know what I am looking for, I can see Glamis is walking like a dog with a sore back but he is moving with purpose.   He lays in the sun for a bit while I go get the pool.  It's a good day for a dip.

Blowing bubbles

Glamis climbs in with a little help and it isn't long before he slips and ends up laying in the water.  Just like Arri.  He doesn't lay in the pool until he has no choice but once he is down, he enjoys it.  I only put about 2 inches in and the water is cool.  He isn't in there long when I start noticing that something is off.  I throw a treat in the water and he can't find it...right in front of his nose.  I wave a treat before his nose and it takes time for him to sense it and then longer to figure out where to find it.  He can track up and down but not side to side. He doesn't look at me at all.  he looks around me, above me, next to me.  Something is definitely off.

I get him out of the pool and dry him off a bit.  He walks inside ok - a little sideways but pretty good.  In the house he is tracking invisible flies and focusing on the ceiling and upper section of the wall.  He spins in a circle, bites at the air and continues to look for something that is not there.  When I call his name, he doesn't respond.  I wave my hand - no reaction or attempt to track it.  Make kissy noises...that worked but he still isn't sure where it came from....I am 3 feet in front of him.  Somewhere in his head he is hearing Fantasia music and watching pink elephants dance.  At one point, he walked over to where I normally sit on the sofa and reached out to take a treat from me (I was on the other side of the room).  Hallucinating that I was over there offering one?  Not sure but it was very odd behavior. My best guess is that he had a serious brain cramp.

Glamis spends most of the afternoon in this dazed state.  When Tim gets up for work, Glamis is aware he is up and moving but still not tracking properly.  Now that Tim is up, I go back down to work.  After awhile, Tim comes down to let me know Glamis is in the kennel and he is taking the two stooges to the park.  5 minutes later, Tim comes back down to tell me Glamis is in the kennel whining and barking.  BARKING?????? Glamis has barked maybe 5 times in his life.  Tim is going to take Glamis to the park.  He REALLY, REALLY wants to go.   

I am having a brain cramp and have no idea what is going on

The rest of the afternoon and evening are fairly normal.  He is still off a little bit but it seems the pink elephants have faded for a moment.

July 17, 2013: gotta love Rymidyl

Tues:
Glamis would not stand to eat dinner.  He ate but did it laying down.  Before Tim left for work last night, the two of us helped Glamis outside.  It was not easy.  He was clearly in a great deal of pain and didn't want to go.  The problem was that once Tim left, I was not going to be able to do it on my own.  If he were co-operative, I could but nope, no way, he didn't want to go.  Once in the grass he did walk a bit and peed but that was all.  He took a few more steps - enough so he was about as far away from the front door as he could get and laid down.  He was done.  No amount of coaxing was going to work.  This is where Tim was critical.  If I absolutely had to, I could lift him but it would not be graceful and possibly do more damage than good.  I do have a trolley I could load him on but I don't think he would like that either.  We stood Glamis up and Tim carried him into the house. I laid down some pee pads left over from a long ago sick cat and we put Glamis on them.  He wasn't moving any time soon and this would be easier cleanup if necessary.

After all of this, Tim is having a hard time.  He feels it is time to stop and I am gearing up for the hang nail argument.  I hate seeing Glamis in so much pain but I also know back injuries require rest and time.  12 hours isn't enough time for that kind of decision.   Tim goes to work and I have some time before handbell rehearsal.  It allows me a bit too much time to think about what should be done.  Wait?  schedule an appointment?   For the moment I am thinking it is time but tomorrow is Wednesday and Dr. Mike isn't in the office.  Do we have his sub do it or wait another day? The argument goes back and forth in my head until I get home from rehearsal.

I walk in the house and the decision is made.  It is not time.  Glamis is in the same spot but he has rolled to his other side.  He is alert and wagging his tail.  So the pain meds have kicked in and are working to some degree.  Before bed, Glamis lets me help him stand and then willingly walks outside and toilets.  Back in the house and into the bedroom.  He has stopped a few times and his back end sags - a sign of pain and exhaustion but he does not need my help.

Wednesday:
5:00 am brings another willing trip outside and more pain meds.  I go back to bed and when Tim gets home at 6, he feeds the dogs and takes them out.  Initially, it was just Summer and Oregon but then he looked back at the door and saw Glamis standing there wanting to go too.  This is very good news for multiple reasons.  1.  Yea!  He got up on his own to go out.  2.  He has been leaking gas for about 18 hours now.  The pain in his back seems to have prevented him from assuming the position to empty the bowels.  What is so gross is that it is not expected 'dog' gas.  It smells like a crock pot dinner.  He has been getting vegi beef baby food 'gravy' mixed with his dinners and that odor sticks with him - going in and out.  I am switching back to sweet potatoes.

I can tell when Glamis lays down in an unintended location because he will have frog legs. He doesn't have the ability to keep himself in a sit on the area rugs.  His back end will slide back until his is down in the frog leg position.  I help him stand and if he goes right back down, I know that was where he wanted to be but he couldn't rotate his hips to the side.  I will then flip him into a better position.  Otherwise, once back up, he will walk to where he wanted.

The rest of the day will be spent letting him rest even though we want to encourage him to be active. I won't force him up.  I know he can get up if he wants to but he needs to rest so we can see if he does improve with time.

July 16, 2013: bad things come in threes

Bad things come in threes - Dr Mike says.
 Three issues or three dogs?  I ask.

Three dogs would be bad because we are only on number 2.    Three issues would be nice because then Glamis would be done.  We had the tumor. Then the seizure. Now - after 4 good attitude and activity days, Glamis went pretty listless after dinner last night.  He didn't move for 4.5 hours and then only moved because I made him go outside.

He did come into the bedroom last night and he got up on his own for breakfast.  Other than that, there has been no voluntary moving around.  I tried to get him outside late morning and it was mission impossible.  I finally managed it but he was pretty uncooperative.  That was when I knew I had to call the vet...again.  We were just there yesterday morning to get his staples removed.  He was all happy and active on that trip.

Glamis was taking so long to move from the car,  up the ramp to the clinic door that one of the girls came out to help.  I had the sling, I had treats, the boy did not want to walk.  What normally would have taken 15 seconds, took 10 minutes.

Back into the dreaded exam room.  Unlike Arri, Glamis gets stressed out and starts panting once in 'the room'.  Dr. Mike comes in to take a look.  Glamis has a slight fever.  We stand him on a mat and he gets the once over - twice.  A couple of pokes here and there and issue number 3 is determined to be that  he has a disk injury in his back.   We really don't know if this is from injury or cancer attacking the spinal cord.  It could be injury - he was throwing himself all over the place last week but for the effects to come on so suddenly yesterday? after 4 good days? - implies something happened yesterday.  Tim took him to the park but he has been lifting Glamis in and out of the car  - no jumping.  Aside from that, he has not tried to get on the furniture.  We are once again mystified.

So we go home with pain meds and some more pheno for seizures.  It is an extremely frustrating and guilty time.  We don't know what happened so how long do you wait before making a decision?  Injury has a chance to heal but if it is cancer, it won't.  How long do you give it to heal before deciding it probably won't because it wasn't an injury?  Should I have already made that decision?  I guess I did and it was 'not time yet' - thus the feeling of guilt. Maybe it is time.  I have scheduled his final visit two times now and both times he rallied we walked out of the clinic.  We have a month's worth of pain meds.  In his current condition, I won't wait that long.  If this is a temporary injury then he deserves a chance to heal.  However, if this is as good as it will get - that is not a quality life.  I will once again, pick a date in the somewhat near future.  On that day, if he is not improving, than we we buy his train ticket to the bridge.

July 14, 2013: It may be hot but we are weathering it well

Freckles gave Glamis a CAT scan...maybe her positive
 diagonosis is why he has perked up

Something clicked on Friday and Glamis has been doing very well ever since.  He is not ballarina graceful and I would not take him into a china shop but he is getting up on his own and showing interest in what is going on around him.  Saturday had a slight setback because he went to the park in the middle of the day and it was really too hot - for him.  The remainder of the day he slept and was grounded from any more park trips that day.

 I was a little worried he had really over done it when he did not even get up at bed time to come to the bedroom.  He slept on the kitchen floor all night.  At 2:30 am, I dragged a dog bed out next to him and slept on it for awhile.  We are adjusting his meds so being in another room concerned me if I did not hear a seizure.

We have spent most of today - Sunday in the airconditioning.  It is in the 90's and heat tires him out faster than the others.  He was allowed a very short trip to the park in the evening.  The only time I have had to help him get up is when he is on tile or wood.  We have brought out all of Arri's area rugs  and carpet remnents to make it as safe as possible.

This is the most alert we have seen him in a week,
Begging posture perfected....too bad Tim was fixing the ceiling
fan on the table, not eating

Food is still of highest priority.  He seems to think he is allowed to beg at the table now.  NOT.  Special treats are still given in the food bowl at meal times.  The exception has always been fruit.  When cutting up watermelon, cantalope or pineapple, there is always a row of dogs drooling behind me and they get bits and pieces.  Nothing like cold watermelon on a hot day.

July 13, 2013 Night and Day

I have no idea what clicked with Glamis but he is doing incredibly well.  Aside from the first assist of the day on Friday, he has been getting up and walking around on his own.  He still staggers and sways but seldom falls down. He is more of a weeble now. (weebles wobble but the don't fall down)  I can't give credit to stopping the Keppra because we haven't done that yet.  So......????    Whatever it was, we have turned a corner and are doing much, much better.  for now.

July 11 & 12, 2013: Beautiful weather makes for a good day

Thursday:  It is another beautiful day out.  The windows are open so the eau de dog  in the house is a little weaker.

This is how the world looks to me on drugs

In some respects Glamis is having a good day.  He is walking a little steadier but I still use the sling until he is more confident.  It takes him a few minutes to get his bearings.  I have to watch him closely during those few minutes or he will do a header in a cabinet or wall or his legs will just collapse.

Once he is walking, he is doing much better.  He still sways and stumbles a bit but not falling over.  That happens only at the beginning now.  So far the negative aspect is that unless I am standing him up to move him, he does not move.  He may flip over or spin around but when I walk away, I will find him in the same spot I left him.  He doesn't seem to be able to get his hind feet under him in order to stand.  I push them into position and then start to lift.  At that point, he will start to use his own strength to get up.  So the question is:  is it medication, severe weakness in the back legs or no communication telling the legs to move?

Yep, I am stuck in this position...Help mom

The one time today he got up on his was for dinner.
After he ate, he was standing on the rug by the refrigerator.  I had opened the door putting him on the other side out of sight.  I did not see him start to fall.   Most likely his front leg collapsed.  He did a header right into the fridge door. I felt horrible.  He was so stunned.  I hate watching him fall.

It's a good thing I am so handsome

Friday, July 12:  Today is starting so much better.  We had to help Glamis up at 5 am but he has been getting up and moving around on his own today.  Walking alot steadier but still not perfect.  I talked to the vet early this morning and once we finish the Keppra,  (tomorrow) we will not refill and see how Glamis does.  He has not had any seizures that I have seen.  We will continue to watch for them and hope all the motor control issues really have been from the medicine.   We have an appointment on Monday to remove the staples.  Depending on how the weekend goes, that may not be the final appointment.

Oregon does not like playing second fiddle in the attention arena

Mom can't believe this photo worked...focus on me and not the grass.

July 10, 2013 CAT Scan

Have you ever had anyone put their hand on your head and pulse their fingers while saying 'this is a brain sucker.  What's it doing?"..........."starving".    That is the image I have for Glamis this morning only the brain sucker is on the inside and it is gorging.

CAT scanner

I am really questioning if trying the anti-seizure drugs was a good choice.  Dr. Mike said it may take a week for him to acclimate to the effects but I am not so sure this is all drugs.  Dopey and tired I expected.  Loss of motor control I didn't.  I suspect that is more of an attack of the brain tumor than the drugs. My CAT scanner is outside hunting chipmunks so I have not been able to do any tests.

When on tile or wood floor - forget it, the boy is going down.  He fights it but sometimes gravity beats determination.  His feet slide out from under him.  He is constantly getting his back legs crossed.  In 30 minutes, I think I uncrossed his legs to help him stand 10 times.  Then he will stand with his back feet right next to each other, like they were one leg.  Only, he doesn't do so well on one leg - like watching a palm tree in a hurricane....hips sway one way and then correct to the other direction.  His brain doesn't seem to know he needs to spread his legs apart or he is trying to communicate but the cell towers are down.  I try to get him to lay down but he refuses.  Sure the dumb dog still can fight me on that but not spread his legs in order to keep standing.   Maybe I need to hold his legs together and he will fight to spread them out.

If I had to pick a moment out the next few to buy a train ticket,  now would be the time because the rest of the week would be horribly inconvenient. Terrible to say but that is the reality.  I don't get the option to call in sick when deadlines are due.  And brides are not happy if their cakes are 2 days late.  Unfortunately, Tim is in training and I have no way to reach him.  We will talk when he gets home. Maybe, like yesterday, Glamis  will be much more alert in the afternoon.   At the moment, Glamis looks just like Arri in the last few hours.  He did just get his Keppra so that could explain his sleepiness.  He is restless right now.  There is something he wants to do but can't do it.

Dr. Mike called with the biopsy reports.  It is as we suspected.  All the blueberries I have found are Hemangiosarcoma. It is July in Michigan....blueberry season. It is only appropriate for Glamis to be covered with them.  I find more each time I touch him. (Stop touching the dog)

I didn't fall here.  This was where I wanted to be.

Late morning, I wake up Glamis to go outside.  It is miserable out there.  The humidity is horrible and temperatures are only in the 80's.  The mosquitoes are out in force.   I have the sling under him because he was slamming into walls and falling down just trying to get outside.  Glamis doesn't do anything but stagger around.  He flops on the ground whether he really wanted to or not, that was as far as his feet were going for the moment.  I go back inside for cookies and the camera.  After a few pictures, we have had enough of the heat.  On the way inside, I learn the secret to walking a straight line.  Glamis had his eye on the prize....my (empty) hand held in front of him.  This was a good thing to learn.  The other thing I learned is that I now need a chain mail glove.  Glamis used to be a gentle giant taking treats so nicely.  He is now possessed by the evil cookie monster.  He may only have one fang but he knows how to use it.

I know there was a cookie here somewhere....

Early afternoon brings a shift in attitude.  He is much more alert and steady although he still qualifies for being 'tipsy' and would be asked to take a breathalizer had he been driving.  For the first time in days, his eyes sparkle.  A wind has kicked up and it is not nearly as stifling outside.  He does his business....Yea!  we still have control of that.

I am picking up on a trend I think.  For 4 hours after a dose of Keppra, Glamis is completely zoned out, confused and unsteady.  The last 4 hours before the next dose are much better.  Maybe 80% of perfectly healthy but the first 4 hours he spends at about 30% of healthy.  Now I have something to trend.  The video is of a good moment walking.

July 9, 2013 walking is a little like the game of twister

After the vet visit yesterday, the day was quiet.  Glamis napped, went outside and napped some more.  He is  very dazed from the drugs.  The vet put him on phenobarbital and Keppra.  He wags is tail and still wants attention but mostly he wants food.  He has a serious case of the drug munchies.  Instead of playing in the evening, he walks in circles.  We got his indistructable ball out and he watched it roll.  The thought bubble above his head  when he watched it in a very slow stoned voice " wooww. that     ball    is    moving    faaaassst".    He is more aware of Tim than me.  When Tim leaves the room, Glamis looks around and if he doesn't return soon enough, he will get up and follow.

Much of his walking is like a game of twister.  He stays standing but there is a good chance that his feet are on the wrong side.  He doesn't always know how close he is to an object and will bump a hip or shoulder into a chair or door frame.

After dinner, when the temperature cooled off by a degree, Tim took him to the park.  Tim said he did well - jumped in and out of the van on his own and enjoyed the walk.

The night was quiet until Summer the golden haired rooster crowed at 6.  Glamis was still kind of dopey but not too bad.  He was crazy for breakfast.  Food!  Give me food!  He makes Arri's drug munchies look amature. On the other side of the room, Oregon refused all food.  Oh goody.  This game again.  For 2 months Oregon will refuse all food in the morning for 2 -3 days but then eat dinner.  After a few days, he is fine for a week or two and then it starts again.  Odd behavior for a lab.  I REALLY don't want another trip to the vet.  They are going to build a new wing at the clinic and name an exam room after all the dogs I have brought in.

 Glamis had a dose of Keppra with breakfast.  I went down to work for a few hours.  I peeked my head up the stairs a fews times to see he was ok and then at 10:30 I planned a trip outside.  Glamis was on his side in the living room.  His overall reaction time is much slower.  Slower to sounds and sights.  I called his name and he wagged his tail.  Nothing else moved.  Just his tail.  I sat on the floor and pet him.  Nothing moved but the tail.  I started pushing against him to 'wake' him up.  Nothing moved but his eyes were open and his tail still wagged.  I lifted a leg and let go - completely limp and no movement.  I thought he had had a stroke and was paralized except for the tail.  Yep, the freak out was rising to the surface.  I took a step back and decided to take the other dogs outside before addressing what was happening.  I called the two stooges and opened the door. Suddenly Glamis' head pops up.  Outside?  Ok, that is worth moving for.  Goober.

This is my brain on drugs

He got up and went outside but he was well beyond the legal limit for public drunkenness.  Eyes only half open.  He fell over twice.  His back feet would cross over each other with each step.  This is not a quality life.  I promise him that if this is as good as it will get, we won't stay in this state for long.  My opinion was that the drugs were way too strong.  

I call the clinic to make an appointment for Oregon.  No big rush. I hesitate to bring him in because the only symtom is morning sickness.   This cycle will repeat itself again in a week.  Well, they had an open spot in half and hour.  I loaded Oregon in the car and went in. While Oregon was getting the once over, we talked about the dosage for Glamis.  We cut back the Keppra to 250 mg and see how it goes.   Just as I thought, no issues could be found with Oregon but they suspect (even though the stool doesn't prove it) that he has whip worms.  His repeating cycles are common symptoms.  Still no biopsy result for Glamis.

I am finding more blueberries on him.  A couple are starting on his neck and behind the ear. I also spotted a fairly large spot on his belly.

Cookie???

Tonight he is up and active.  He wants to play but the coordination is not there.  He tries the tennis ball and he tries the blue ball.  The spirit is there but the brain - foot connections are damaged or fuzzy.  The funny thing is that when Tim got home from work, we were outside.  After Tim parked, I released the dogs and Glamis ran to the car.  He had no problems running.  He just can't walk without tipping, tripping and swaying.  With the reduced dose of Keppra, he seems to be a bit more alert.  He also has a thing with moving to the left.  Always turning to the left.

July 8, 2013 Alert and active

Our vet visit went better and expected.  Glamis perked up when we arrived but did not 'UP' to greet the ladies.  If it were not for the leash, he would be wandering aimlessly - taking a route only he is aware of.  His primary focus at the time was all the smells of food and treats and food and treats......to get him back to the scale, I had to put a treat right in front of his nose.  If I moved it too far ahead, he would turn towards the nearest food bad.   Navigating the 2" step up to the scale was a challenge.  I have a sense that there is some peripheral vision issue as he has had many missteps recently.

We get into the exam room and review what happened last night. His temperature is slightly elevated.  He won't sit down.  He knows the room and would prefer not to be there.  He stands on the wrong side (hinge) of the door willing it to open.  If it wasn't so sad, his confusion would be kind of funny.  More missteps...I am sitting on the floor and he keeps running into my legs.  Either he is not seeing them or the brain foot connection is weak and he is not lifting his feet high enough.  More talk happens.   Eyes get scoped and declared free of obvious issues. We acknowledge that there is no treatment.  Because of the holiday, we don't have the biopsy results yet.  Based on what he is seeing, Dr. Mike offers anti-seizure medicine.  It will make him a little dopey but will give us a little more time.  How much time is unknown.  It could be a day or a week.  It will be a day by day situation.

Glamis aka Fang soon to be dopey dwarf leaves the clinic with a smile on his face and a prance in his step.  Really. Seriously.  He was prancing across the parking lot.  The goober.

July 8, 2013: The lights are dim

To continue last nights saga...

Dr. Mike called me back and said the seizure was 'small' by comparison.  Some can last 10 minutes.  That would have completely freaked me out.  Never want to see one of those.  He is concerned by it because we have never seen one before.  It is not likely to be epilepsy due to age.  My personal thought is that the cancer has moved to the brain.  Dr. Mike doesn't say it but we talk about what oncologist to call.  All I can do for now is monitor for more seizures.

two hours after the first seizure, Glamis had a second.  It was not quite as long and he recovered a little quicker but it was still very hard on me, Tim and him.  Summer, once again - unfazed.  He fell off his dog bed right onto her and she didn't move.  Oregon came out of his kennel to see what was happening and ended up back in there with the door locked.  As Glamis returned to this planet, he struggled to get up.  It took a bit of blocking and pushing but we got him in the kennel.  He was not happy, very stressed and disoriented still but he did settle down much faster than the first seizure.

Tim and I talk about what to do.  Dr. Mike suggested we might want to take him to the ER for monitoring for the night.  I am not keen on that.  I would rather take him to MSU where the oncologist is.  In the end we decided to stay home and call the vet in the morning.  At this point, we think tomorrow will be the end.  Even if we do seizure medicine, we are considering quality of life.  Not much quality if the lights are on and no one is home.

Barely and hour later, the third seizure hit.  Similar to the second.  It is a wire kennel and it had a pad in the bottom.  His kicking shoved the pad onto one side and that was good.  It prevented him from getting a foot stuck in the wires.  I opened the door and held his head.  He had manuvered his jaw between two wires and was bleeding from the spot where his tooth had been removed.  I got his jaw free and the bleeding stopped quickly.  The recovery went a little better.  He never tried to stand up.  He was whining this time.  Pain?  Anxiety?  Stress?  Don't know but I gave him one of his pain pills. We opened the kennel door and let him come out if he wanted.  He tried but could not stand.  We got him out and he laid down in that spot for the night. The rest of the night was quiet and everyone got a little sleep.

Summer woke me up at 5 and I told her to go away.  She came back at 6 and I got up and took everyone out.  Glamis was so still I thought he was gone.  When I pet his side, he shifted his head but there was no happy morning greeting.  He did not move to get up.  As I was bringing Oregon inside, Glamis was waiting at the door to go out.  He seemed to be moving just fine at first.  Halfway though his tour of the yard, he started to drunk walk a bit.

Breakfast brought on the excitement.  According to him, he has not been fed in 3 months.  There is nothing wrong with his appetite.  I gave him extra kibble and a jar of baby food sweet potatoes.  We have a set routine for feeding.  I put down Summer and Oregon's bowls.  Summer gets to eat, Oregon waits across the room.  Glamis stands next to Summer until I turn to grab his bowl.  He follows me and dives in. Then Oregon is released.  Today, he was not waiting.  I put down Summer's bowl and he jumped in with her.  I had to shove his bowl under his nose to get him away.

After he ate, he inspected all the bowls, 2 -3 times and laid down.  Aside from one more trip outside, he rests.  His eyes are cloudy and he does not seem aware of his surroundings.  We have a vet appointment at 10:00.  For the most part, we are thinking this is the last trip.  Maybe Dr. Mike will have suggestions or hope but I know I am resigned to this fate.   The disease has progressed so quickly that even if we got chemo in him today, I don't think we would get two more weeks.   Maybe I am wrong.  That would be nice to admit.

July 7, 2013

Yesterday afternoon I started to wonder if Glamis was feeling ok.  He was sleeping alot - somewhat normal but turned me down for trips outside 3 out of 4 times.  That is unusual.  He is normally happy to go out just because he can.  Tim took him to the park in the evening and said he did well.  He kept up the pace.  When I finished work, Glamis was on the sofa.  I sat next to him and scratched his butt, expecting the wiggles to start.  He didn't even wag his tail.  I laid down on the floor to see if he would pounce on me.  He didn't even lift his head.  Seeing all that, Tim agrees that something is not quite right but what's wrong is a mystery.  He finished the can of food for dinner so maybe an upset tummy from the canned food?  I didn't give him an evening pain pill so I try that.  He gets one before bed and we will see how he is in the morning.

Not really seeing anymore enthusiasm from the G monster this morning.  Oh, he gave the happy dance for breakfast and chowed down like normal but still no wiggling.  He went outside and took care of business - letting me know where any land mines were.   I laid on the floor next to him and fully expected a foot in the face like normal but nothing.  He thumped his tail and let me pet him.  As annoying as the wiggles were - partly because he sheds like crazy every single day of the year  - I don't like the lazy dog act on him.  I know something is not right but I really can't put my finger on it and am not sure it would require a vet visit at this point.

This afternoon is our belated birthday photo shoot.  It is miserable outside....hot and very humid.  I try to do this quickly but Summer and Oregon are not being particularly helpful.  The apprently thought it was opposite day.  Sit = down, stay = move, smile = snarl or turn head...etc....  When I had had enough and was borderline angry at their naughtyness--it really was too hot to be making this longer than necessary - we quit and celebrated the end with Frosty Paws.  They get these once - maybe twice a summer.  As soon as Glamis saw the container, he was going goofy.  He was dancing and stalking me.  I tried to get one more photo of the 3 stooges sitting nicely, begging for treats but Glamis climbed up on the bench and started nudging me.  I was taking way too long with the Frosty paw.

Around 7:45, Glamis choose to scare me to death.  I was on the floor with him, crawing to the toy box when I hear a thump behind me.  Glamis was on his side on the floor in full seizure.  I have only seen made for TV seizures before so this freaked me out. His mouth was locked open, his legs were flailing.  I couldn't tell if he was breathing or choking.  After about 30 seconds, he relaxed but was not back on this planet yet.  It was another 30 seconds before he woke up, looked around and tried to stand.  From there he paced around the room.  He wasn't running into anything but he moved between me and Tim like he had not seen us in months.  Heavy panting, tail wagging and almost frantic movement.  He really wanted to go outside.  We let him but we both went with and watched him closely.  There was some staggering and dragging of a foot once in a while.  Back inside, back outside and finally after about 40 minutes, he laid down inside.  

It has been an hour since the seizure and he is resting with his breathing pretty much back to normal.    Now as I watch over him, the questions begin.  Is this related to the cancer?  It is a result of the surgeries?  Did he over do it today - hot photo shoot, cold ice cream, then a trip too the park?  I probably won't get an answer.  I want to blame the cancer.  His 'not quite right' behavior being a prelude. A seizure sure makes you feel helpless.  I had no idea what to do.  Touch him, don't touch him.  Pat him on the side, talk to him, shake him????  I think I did all of the above.  I called the vet but didn't get an answer.  At that point, I needed someone to tell me to take a deep breath and watch for the following or tell me the following might happen. For that, I am thankful for facebook.  Some very kind friends provided me with the information and allowed me to settle down a little.  

In the meantime....Summer has been laying on the floor.  She did not move or look up the during the seizure and Glamis fell right behind her.  Oregon ended up in his kennel because he would not leave Glamis alone and every time G was getting comfort from me, Oregon pulled the jealous dog and tried to worm in betwen us.  

July 7, 2013: Belated Birthday photos.

Summer and Glamis

Glamis, Oregona and Summer

Oregon bows to the Frosty Paw

Birthday frosty paws are the best.

July 6, 2013 Step away from the dog

After the last 3 weeks of urgent issues going on, I am finally calming down a bit.   I didn't have much choice. My work does not allow for delays or changing deadlines.  If anything, customers move up the date.  I was forced to step away from the dog by my schedule. 12 hour day on July 4, 15 hours on the 5th and at the time of this typing, I still have 2 wedding cakes to deliver and set up today and a wedding tomorrow plus a few more orders for tomorrow.  So unless the dogs come down to the bakery to let me know they have to pee, I only see them at meal times.

Oregon expressed is displeasure at being ignored by killing a slipper.  He is improving his record of being the dog that has destroyed the most household items/clothing.  A few days ago I was sad he will be leaving for college in a few short weeks.  After I found the exorcised slipper, I might not miss him so much.  And I would like someone to explain to me why it is only MY clothing and shoes that contain evil woobies?

Glamis is doing very well.  He did a little song and dance number when I getting his dinner ready.  Since it was his birthday, he got some canned food with his normal dry.  He will get his birthday meatloaf in a few days.  When I collapsed on the floor exhausted last night, he and Oregon pounced on me.  Oregon was being needy but Glamis wanted to play.  He was quite perky, getting his tennis ball and chasing it and pouncing on it.

Glamis still has to wear the t-shirt.  It is either the shirt or the cone and shame and the shirt is more comfortable.  The one time I let him run around naked for a few hours, I could tell he had been licking the incision.  The fur is growing back and is at the itchy stage.  I tried to gently scratch for him but he is such a gigantic goober.   Anyone who has ever met and tried to pet him will understand.  As soon as you touch him, his body starts to wiggle.  Poke him with a finger, his tail wags.  Put your hand on his head, the whole rear end starts wagging.  Actually start petting/scratching him, he can't stay still.  He has now idea what 'calm, relaxing' petting is.  All he knows is wiggle.

 Last week when he had the x-rays, they didn't sedate him.  The vet said he did good.
me:  Really???? He stayed still for you???
vet:   well no, he was very wiggly but we were able to hold him down.

That is the Glamis I know - you can't touch him if you want him to be still.  That is why he is never allowed in the bed.  I let him up there one night and kicked him off.  He would start to wiggle every time he thought you might bump him with a foot or hand.

So, last night, I was laying on the floor, scratching whatever body part was presented...well, not EVERY body part.  Remember my rule?  I am not to touch the dogs.   Yep, I did it again.  During the wiggle session, I found 4 blood blister/tumors (still waiting on biopsy results) - all on his legs - front and rear.  After the 4th, I put my hands down.  I didn't want to know if there were more.

Breaks over... I have to get back to work.  My boss is such a slave driver.

July 5, 2013 Happy Birthday Glamis!

The party is postponed until Sunday night but we still have to say

HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY GLAMIS

may the pain meds keep you forever smiling

just kidding, we know you are always a happy dog

July 4, 2013 no bombs bursting here

Happy Independence Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In realizing that tomorrow will most likely be Glamis' last birthday party, I wanted to get a patriotic birthday photo of him.  Did you know you can not find any decorations on July 3rd?  Ok, maybe I could have but my patience was limited to three stores.  I found some flags of course and a bandanna and a cardboard Uncle Sam hat.  I put a shout out to my photographer friends and hope someone has a background I can use.

Oregon was watching over Glamis

Last night was very stressful.  I noticed around 8:30 that Glamis was not breathing right.  I watched him and compared him to the other dogs and he was breathing very shallow and twice the rate of the others.  Fireworks were not yet going off so it was not stress.  I am fairly certain there is fluid in his chest.  He still has the fluid balloon on his side.   Flashbacks to Arri - how long do I wait.  I text the Dr. just to give him an update.  I didn't hear back but I didn't think I would.  There were firework shows going on and I was sure he took his boys to it.  Initially i was worried I should go to the ER - at MSU this time but settled down.  I remembered he had suggested diuretics and a few days wait for Arri at one point.  Glamis was not gasping for breath so I choose to wait until morning.

Oregon is always ready for comfort duty

This morning, Glamis is breathing easier but still very shallow.  I send another text and get a call back right away.  The office is closed today but Dr. Mike will meet me at the cllinic to take a look.  I was very relieved that his color was good, and his heart and lungs sounded good.  He thinks Glamis is very uncomfortable and the act of breathing hurts.  He gives us some pain meds and off we go.  A huge thank you to Dr Mike for taking such good care of his patients....even a special trip on a holiday.  

Oregon photo bomb

This afternoon, Glamis is much more alert and active.  When offered a trip outside, he doesn't have to be helped, forced or bribed to go.  And the pain meds did exactly what we want to avoid...he feels so much better I keep finding him up on the sofa or chair.  Have to watch the incision, it isn't fully closed yet.

Thank you for the kind words, thoughts and prayers.  This experience is so different from what Arri went through.  Arri's cancer didn't scare me.  I was ready for battle.  This one, after what I have read online, and how quickly new issues are popping up, I feel we are already running in retreat and planning surrender.

I managed to get a few photos done before work demanded my attention.  I now have more patriotic accessories so more photos to come.

Oregon, Glamis & Summer

Glamis is feeling better

Oregon is not feeling well

July 3, 2013 This is not good

July 3, 2013

I can't believe it took me over 24 hours to start to google.  I have the pathology report and now I must learn.  My search does not find much specifically on Gingival Hemangiocarcoma, but there is more than I want to know on other varieties of Hemangiosarcoma.  Sadly, I am finding very little hope in all that I read.  Hemangiosarcoma is a cancer of blood vessels it can occur anywhere in the body that has blood vessels - duh.  The dermal (skin) hemangiosarcoma is a little more hopeful for longevity but there is great concern for spreading to the internal organs.  If tumors start on the liver, spleen, heart, kidneys, etc, they have potential to rupture and cause internal bleeding.  That would cause great suffering and pain. Oh, and it can spread to the brain too.   One Dr. suggested euthanasia before allowing the disease to get to that point.  I can certainly understand that thinking but making that kind of decision when your dog is not suffering is torture.  How long can you put off the decision before it is essentially 'too late'.  Can we go one more day?  Did we wait a day too long? The good news is that we are not to that point....yet....that we know of.   The x-rays were clear but they won't pick up the microscopic beginnings.  I wish I was saying that being hyper protective but it was a point in a number of articles.

This is the primary reason I will want to see an oncologist. I would like an ultrasound of the belly.  It might help in knowing if there is anything growing internally at this point.  There is no cure.  Chemotherapy is a possible treatment to slow the cancer growth but it does not work on all varieties of Hemangiosarcoma.  


Glamis had to spend the night in the kennel to minimize movement.  When he gets up, he is a little stiff and sore.  There is a little blood on his t-shirt but it has dried.  The pressure wrap is completely out of place so I cut it off and get a good look at the incisions.  The little one looks very good.   The long one has a bubble swelling at the base.  This is where the bleeding had been coming from.  I have seen this before and am not too concerned.  As long as it doesn't get bigger, it is not a problem.

Before we put on a clean shirt, he goes outside to do his business and I take some photos.  I can see the small purple spots the Dr. talked about.  As he is walking, I notice the skin is jiggling oddly in the shaved area.  He stops and I touch....I am NOT supposed to touch the dogs...I always find bad stuff.  I poke around and this is clearly fluid build up.  It is not quite close enough to the incision for me to automatically say surgical fluid, it will reabsorb.  It is more the location that concerns me.  Of course, I had been reading about internal bleeding and now I am a bit paranoid.  And then I think of Arri and the fluid in his chest. 

I will wait to call the Dr.  See if the swelling increases, moves or decreases.  Listen to his breathing pattern and just in general, analyze him closely.

I added purple dots  to indicate where the potential new tumors are.

I wait...10 minutes...20 minutes....probably and hour and a half before I grab the phone and call.  I knew Dr Mike was not going to be in the office but I call anyway.  I will feel better looking like a paranoid hypochondriac than ignoring it and feeling like I neglected my boy.   Dr. Mike calls back within half an hour.  We talk about the details and he would rather take a look than assume it is edema from the surgery.  We will drop by to see him later tonight or tomorrow morning. 





For the time being, we will change plans and adjust schedules to give Glamis some extra quality time.  In a few days, the incision should be healed enough to allow for trips to the park.   Glamis is going to grow to hate the camera.

This pretty much captures his personality - not particularly intelligent in appearance but always happy.  He is alot like Eyore with a positive perspective.

July 2, 2013 Surgery round two

No breakfast for Glamis.  I hate that part of surgeries.  They are so pitiful staring at the empty bowl while the others eat.  Oregon must have some empathy because he refuses his breakfast.  We know the drill.  Drop off and wait for the phone call.

Glamis in his purple tutu

The call comes in very early.  Too early.  It is only noon.  Dr Mike is about to start the surgery but needed to let me know we have an issue.  They shaved his side and noticed additional 'blueberries' (blood blister tumors)  These are much smaller and not raised off the surface but a clear indication of spreading disease.  At this point I can cancel the procedure if desired.  He would still like to remove the large growth as it is very 'angry' looking.  If there is a possibility it could burst, I want it removed.  So, surgery will go on as planned.  There is a second small raised 'blueberry' close by so they will take that one as well.  Both samples will be sent in for biopsy.   They have shaved much of his side.


Glamis is ready for pick up at 5:00.  I fear he might be getting addicted to the drugs already.  He has adapted and is walking much better today.  He is wrapped in a purple pressure bandage (tutu).  The incision is vertical  and there was some weeping at the base.  He has 11 staples in the large incision and 5 in the small. No take home drugs this time.

It has only been 3.5 hours and we already are having issues.  Glamis is having a hard time getting comfortable.  We don't have any pain meds.  In cases like this, they don't like to give them because the better the dog feels, the less likely he will limit his movement and try jumping.  Glamis has been shifting alot and the pressure bandage had slid out of position.  The bandage is soaked with blood.   At the very bottom of the large incision, there is a fluid or blood bubble.  I try to move the bandage but I am hurting him.  I can't see the second incision and I think I keep hitting it.   I get it mostly covered and dig out the t-shirt.  It might protect the bandage a little.  In the morning, we will go back and get a new bandage and see if the bubble needs to be drained.  The location and blood are giving me flashbacks to the wound Arri had on his side. Dr. Mike pulled out all the MacGyver tricks to cover that one. Very difficult location to cover or protect.

the t-shirt of shame

Another time of laughter while G suffers.  He has not played dress up in a long time.  He was not certain he could walk with the shirt on.  It was a little like seeing a dog in booties walk for the first time.  Pretty funny but the stalling technique is not going to get the shirt off. It is on for the duration.  I might be nice and try a tank top tomorrow.

July 1, 2013 Surgery follow up day

This morning we go back to the vet to have all the incisions checked.  The eye looks really good.  No more crusties or eye boogers.   I lifted his lip the other day and the gum looks good.  You can see where the skin was stretched to cover the gap and will take a while to relax or grow.  Dr. Mike is very happy with the healing.

his eye is healing well

Unfortunatley the bad news is still coming.  The tumor is malignant.  Glamis has Gingival Hemangiosarcoma.  In reading the patholgy report, the tumor had ulcerated which is probably why he was bleeding so much.... This type of cancer is very vascular... ''frequently forming small irregular anastomosing, interconnected blood filled vascular type channels"   The report also said it was a deep tumor and complete excision cannot be guaranteed.  So we will have to keep a close eye on his mouth for potential regrowth.

...'This cancer is normally associated with the tongue and tend to be locally agressive and have a high risk for eventual wide spread metastasis.'...  'prognosis should be guarded for hemangiosarcomas developing at other sites of the oral cavity'.   With all that being reviewed, we discuss the next step.  Chest and belly x-rays are suggested as well as a belly ultrasound.  Then possible meeting with an oncologist.  Before we go any further, I ask Dr. Mike to take a look at the lump on his side.  I just found it last week but is has grown.   I am hoping it is a fatty tumor but it doesn't really feel like one.  One look and everything shifts.  Best case scenario, it is a blood blister.  Worst case, it is an extension of the cancer in his mouth.  Worst, worst case scenario - I have yet another dog with a cancer anomaly by having two completely different cancers at the same time.  Needle biopsy is generally pointless as they are so blood filled.  Getting a tissue sample is very difficult.

Time for more decisions.  Dr. Mike feels we should remove it to confirm it's identity.  It is relatively small - about the size of a  blueberry and should be fairly easy to remove.  He has time tomorrow or I can take some time to digest everything and schedule for next week.  It is another of those wait or act choices.  I ask Glamis what he would like.  This would be the second surgery in 12 days.  He just grins and wags his tail. Yes, I agree surgery tomorrow.  Once again, I want answers, quickly, so the next step can be taken.

My heart is heavy that we are going through this again so soon and what seems to be very suddenly.

June 27, 2013 In memory of Maggie

Glamis is healing well.  He is feeling better and not complaining about pain.

Today we were expecting cousin Maggie for the weekend.  She is 11 yrs old and her time is short.  Sadly, instead of coming over, she decided she wanted to go to the Rainbow Bridge.  We are sad to say good-bye.  She was a very sweet dog.  She is in good company with all the cousins.

Maggie 2007

June 21, 2013: Attack of the Monster tooth

June 21, 2013:

Surgery today.  Waiting.......I get the call around 4:00 - to schedule Glamis pick up time.  I get off the phone and am a bit nervous.  There was no comment as to how he was doing or how the surgery went.  Of course, I was talking to the front desk, not the Dr or tech.

Tim thinks I should wear it on a chain around my neck.

I arrive at 5:00 and am much relieved to hear the surgery went very well.  The tooth came out easy.  Everything took a bit longer than expected but really went well.   Dr. could not see any issues with the bone but we have to wait for the biopsy results.  He felt he did get good margins.   The eye tuck looks good - a little odd but then I realized it was because they shaved a little of the fur away.  That will grow back and you won't notice a thing.  His teeth are pearly white.  We have allow a bit of healing before we start brushing again.  We are stocked up on antibiotics and pain killers and an extra bottle that makes no noise when I shake it.  I realize the tooth is in it.  They saved it for me.  It is huge!  and a little gross.

Glamis is still very groggy and is having difficulty keeping a straight line. You have to find the humor sometimes and I was very, very sorry I left my phone in the car.  I needed a camera.  While we were checking out, Glamis had to sit....but he missed the carpet and started to slide on the tile.  His final position before giving up and laying down was just hilarious.  Hind legs straight out.  Front paws between his knees and a goofy drugged grin.

That night he is still coming off the anesthesia so he wimpers and whines.  It doesn't necessarily mean pain but it could.  I certainly can't blame him.  He has a huge hole in his head.   For the next few days, we will let his food sit in water to soften.    Our next follow up appointment is July 1.