While no one can tell you what the right answer is, I have appreciated imput from others. Sometimes, it opens my eyes to other options. A dear friend who lost her sweet Bao just days ago commented...At some point you decide it's not worth the risk to have a really, really, really, really bad day. I felt bad that Bao walked into the vet office on his own, like somehow it would have been better to have him NOT be able to walk??? Duh, that didn't make sense either. Then that would have been too late, for him and for me. We both know, it isn't easy, no matter what anyone says, or any advice given.... At that point, I had considered the walking in part of the statement but I had not yet reached the carried in part. It is so hard to make a decision when you feel there may be more time, more chances.
While there could have been worse times to do this, today is not a great choice. It is Friday. I have two weddings today, two weddings tomorrow and one on Sunday. My grief has to be put on hold. I am sad that I am so distracted by life. It is one of those days when I want to quit my job because I don't have the option to call in sick. I am sad that I will not get to go on the last car trip. Tim will take Glamis to Noah's Pet cemetary in Grand Rapids to be cremated. There are not enough hours in the day.
At 4:53 a cold nose wakes me up. Oregon and Summer need to go out. Glamis is alert but doesn't make any effort to go. Back inside, I lay on the floor next to Glamis and scratch his ears. Oregon is doing the jealous dog routine and worming his way in. As annoying as this is, Oregon is an excellent cuddle bug.
Before I feed the crew at 5:45, I take Glamis out. He wobbles and staggers a bit but doesn't need my help until it is time to go in. I am not sure if he is seeing pink elephants or the moths and bugs flying around have his attention. I have to softly clap my hands to get his focus. Words won't do it. For some reason, the sound of clapping hands can bring him into focus enough to get him to follow me. Glamis gets a pork chop and canned pumpkin with some of his kibble. Based on the snorting in his bowl, he likes it.
It is time to get on the train to the Rainbow Bridge. Arri, Bao and many other wonderful dogs are expecting him. Dr. Mike comes to the house at 7:30 in the morning. Summer and Oregon say hello and are tethered to the bannister. Glamis stands up to greet him but is having a hard time finding him. He has been seeing pink elephants for about 1/2 hour. We gather in a group and Glamis is given a sedative. Tim is getting through this by talking non-stop. I am cradling Glamis' head in my hands. The final injection is given. A few last breaths and Glamis is gone. Quiet, peaceful and loved.
We will miss this gentle giant.
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| Glamis Skilled Companion to Jillayne 2002 - 2011 July 5, 2000 - July 19, 2013 |
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